4994. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Its interested in its own power. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other } Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. A = p.createElement(s); We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. }); The table is tilted, folks. You have owners. Ever. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Period. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Government is an important institution. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; You don't. You have no choice. Because theres no money in that problem. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. // Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? , What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? "Never argue with an idiot. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Its so f***ing heroic. "George Carlin confronts reality". The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Laugh often, long and loud. return cookiePair[1]; Really? " George Carlin 15. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Every day we present the best quotes! 1. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. apstag.init({ "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; Enjoy! Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. "I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. I've set my own rules to live by. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. Continue with Recommended Cookies. This is the best we can do folks. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. 4. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. } I have certain rules I live by. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. "Forget the politicians. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. //
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