It seems that 3 weeks before my writing her my history and my concerns for us, she had an affair. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went. We are either a family all the time or we wont be at all. She tried to abduct our son from daycare and it only didnt happen because my daycare worker knew of my wifes history and that Im more of the primary caregiver because of her instability. Its not a soap opera where the wife has to feed a mans ego and blow him every night.. Anyways thanks for your comment Im angry;-/ but I need to be a good role model snd keep it together. You could emagine how I felt like someone ripped my heart out.I started telling him how can you go back after every thing that I have been nothing but loyal to him. Individuals who lost 5 percent of their body weight over the course of four years were more likely to feel depressed . Thanks CassieD. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. I cant imagine being in this apartment we have been in for so long together and staring at all the memories and these walls and being able to move on and be happy. Psychologists John and Julie Gottman, who have spent decades studying marriage, identified four strong predictors of divorce: criticism . You need ice cream once in awhile! Yes I was pissed beyond belief. 4. I read somewhere that narcsassists will never loose any sleep over our pain . In his mind he asked for emotions and he asked for love and he didnt get it for me. Different goals, interests and even more suprising is her personality and character. Breaking up is hard and can be hell!!!!! When he did come home, often after 9 months abroad, he would turn his back on me in bed . all by yourself. *the relationship feels like too much work. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesnt work that way. I had to call her mom today and asked her if she could grab my work shirts and she finally calls annoyed I got her mom involved and tells me to just come over after work. I should wasnt revenge for my pain, but I dont. Im sorry for your pain right now. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. And thats not good because he wont want to be with anyone who cant keep her self-respect. . Now, she wont even speak to me as apparently Ive never helped her, or understood her sickness in her eyes. My names James, Im 25. But if you cannot have her sort what you want with the kids and remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can so you can focus on your kids and studies. The hits keep coming. They are together now. Im so sad and heartbroken and feel like I gave him my heart for nothing, wasted 26 years of my life. But when a husband feels under-appreciated by the whole family, he's more likely to show resentment than love . Im going to my parents for thanksgiving, but have a rocky relationship with them as it is, so this should be fun. it explains all the reasons that Iv ever left a relationship or been dumped (but that only happened once). According to Han, finding that connection in family and friends quickly can be very important, especially if children are involved. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. I couldnt stop trying to get through to her and kept begging her to stop. The hardest thing for me is to sleep alone. You can NOT continue to live this way, and I am so sorry you have been going through this. She has of course admitted adultery yet refuses to accept this in the papers and has filled against me. Ok. What would people do in my situation. Thanks heather for your positive feedback it is needed very much right now. Would tell them I would rather be at work than at home knowing. Change your life train. I know for my own good I will have to pick up my shattered heart and live as if it never happened. 3. I am 28.after 5 year of marriage my wife left me.our relationship was role model in the society.I had just started to earn the best salary which could be enough for our happy future but she has left me and I think there is value of the money.she was satisfied with every angle including sexual too.but suddenly she changed decision and staying with her parents.cant believe. After she moved out I found out she was in a realationship with another man my wife had many affairs I tried to work things out but they just didnt stop this was the 2nd on in less than 2 yes not sure how to feel right now It is so hard I cant seem to grasp how she can move on so quickly. This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. I know times have changed and lives have gotten in the way. So even though this is anecdotal evidence at best, if you are suffering for so long over something traumatic that has created a lifetime of grief for you, I would suggest that you speak to a doctor about trying treatment with neurontin for a while, and seeing how you feel. I knew he was insecure and this got to him, but I never really thought to deep into it until he cheated on me a few weeks ago. Seems life will continue and I appreciate the hope you have instilled through sharing the stories you have all provided. I know I must choose what to do because living with this internal struggle is making me sick. So when I went to visit my son and his family he served me with the TRO. Im just a hopeless Romantic i guess that loved my wife unconditionally. But he didnt come back. Before my son turned 18 he changed his mind and thought it would be a perfect time to get married. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. Next Monday comes and she again asks me to be there every night after work to do all the work and begins to belittle me when I start to question whats going on, she would often tell me I didnt care about the children if I didnt want to be there but by now its getting hard, real hard. Lou, My break up was a combination of factors above and under each one Andra (the author) has captured the essence. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. It seems odd to me he does this before family outings almost as if he is looking for things and this has me wondering. Shes blocked me completely out her life and of my nephews on her brothers side. My wife and I have been together every day for 28 years.Married for 24 this Jan 1st and we lived together for 4 years. I haven't eaten or slept roperly in 2 weeks. What hes actually regretful about is how he left, which means he probably regretted telling you. Its been over a year. Maybe I hope she leaves him or if I cant have him I think I want his social life ruined. I did everything for him and the kids. She has not even called to see how our son is doing and its been 10 days. This is my 2nd failed marriage. She asks for more and more me days and now I have the kids every single weekend. My husband left me citing this as the only reason. Be strong for yourself and for your kids. Was going to deal it away in 3 days if I would sign custody modification. Unfortunately many people become dissatisfied in marriages even when there are no problems. Ive loved my partner for 27 years and still do. We started to date and things moved along. Its all I can think about and its eating away at me. I just cant understand. This often happens when one partner is keener to end a relationship than the other. Remember you deserve to be happy and there are many other men out there who will treat you right. Who knows, by the time he comes around I probably will be so brand new that he wont be able to afford me, not mentally , not financially or in any way possible. It is actually just a natural part of my nature. Only her family and closest friends knew she was actually dealing with a devastating situation that is all too familiar to . Still, up until a week ago, she said she loved me, loves being with me and having a family etc. Im having problems inmy marriage righy now. My husband of 6 years packed his clothing and left after telling me that we do not have future together after I did not find a career job and was in a car accident. That aside Ive been really good to her and treating her as if I just met her but that has not resonated with her. Feeling a little bette . Something that was completely against my morals as human being. Theyve only been talking for weeks and he thinks he has fallen in love with this person. You are also welcome to call us for assistance finding a therapist. Finally she calls when she is halfway there. They are apps you can install on a cell phone that is undetectable to the person, yet you will be sent reports of calls, texts etc. There was an excuse for every red flag that had shown up through the many years with the women whos emails he left open on his desk top , always the needy type in a bad relationship sad lonely women who fell for his charms (like he is some credible marriage guidance councellor haha ! ) now i got to know of her infidelity causing her to move out of the house, leaving the 3 grown up children with me. I dont owe you anything. I now no longer can afford to live near my children and my job is a roaming goverment contracting job. Dont be a victim . In fact, sometimes he can seem to be downright miserable. Her own mother confronted her and gave her 2 days to tell me. She lives about an hour and a half away. Im questioning whether he really knows what love is xo I do. Plus her step mother has been trying to break us up for 10 years. Doesn't Care. I feel invisible again. He simply needs to find his happiness, he just wants to be happy. Things werent perfect between us for about a year, but after Christmas, I thought things had been going ok. We applied for a mortgage and it was in those weeks waiting for approval that he made the decision to leave, in early February 2017. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. She will not put in any effort whatsoever and couldnt imagine being the same family we pretended to be all week on the weekend. If he can just walk no strings attached then I dont want him back. I do, and I dont. So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it . Wont hug me or show any affection whatsoever. I tried so hard to choke it all back as I rushed out of there. I was sexually abused when I was 3 not by a parent / relative. My husband left me after going into a two-week-long depression where he wouldnt tell me what was going on. Information about what to do in a crisis is available here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. I think thats why Im just waiting for him to call or come back, like he will realize he made a mistake. Not a good thing for Xmas but you can only pick up the pieces and do your best to move on. My organs were beginning to shut down, and I wound up at the hospital. She was followed home while driving rental car in and out of her lane off shoulder and then into oncoming lane. I wasnt happy, i was controlled, questioned put up with his temper for long enough. But in the last 7months, he abruptly changed, despises me even talking or trying to work things out. hes not taking any ownership for his decision.I dont think hell ever realize what kind of devastation caused our family. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. I will admit that i have said some hurtfull things to her a long time ago.And she so has she.We have a son and when he was 2 she left me for a couple of weeks,then we got back together.then 15 years later i read some of her private messages on Facebook that she was talking to some guy. Do you talk to her parents? If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. Said that after work we will eat and discuss plans for his exit. I vow to maintain my essence for me. How are you doing? We both have busy jobs and he works away Mon- Fri. But I did it and discovered 2 empty bottles of butane. She went to her mothers. I told her actions speak louder than words and ur refusing to talk but abandoning me to leave the state.